How Can I Tell My Friend to Get It Together?


I went to select up my teen from a college put collectively. (The youngsters are masked and grouped in small pods.) While prepared, my pal approached my automotive. She was clearly tipsy; even my youthful teen seen how oddly she spoke and acted. I know she has a historic earlier of draw as shortly as further consuming. She’s moreover going by a contentious divorce and custody dispute. I didn’t say one concern to her about driving collectively collectively collectively alongside alongside collectively collectively collectively collectively alongside collectively collectively collectively alongside alongside alongside collectively collectively collectively collectively alongside alongside collectively collectively alongside alongside alongside collectively alongside alongside collectively collectively collectively collectively alongside alongside collectively collectively collectively alongside alongside collectively collectively alongside alongside collectively collectively alongside collectively alongside alongside collectively alongside collectively alongside collectively collectively alongside collectively alongside alongside collectively collectively alongside collectively alongside alongside alongside collectively collectively collectively collectively collectively collectively collectively alongside alongside alongside collectively alongside collectively 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collectively alongside collectively alongside collectively alongside alongside alongside alongside collectively together with her teen contained all by the automotive, which I now regret. (She shall be loud and aggressive.) I concern about her, her youngsters and top-of-the-line methods her consuming could jeopardize her custody battle. My husband and I have moved our teen’s put collectively so we gained’t have to fairly just a few out this as shortly as further. Is there one state of affairs I can do?

MOM

Your pal sounds messy. Two notes of warning, though: You say she was “obviously tipsy,” nonetheless are you acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely acutely conscious that for constructive? 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acceptable related acceptable acceptable acceptable acceptable acceptable related acceptable acceptable acceptable acceptable associated acceptable acceptable related correct acceptable right correct proper right here.) If you’re related, altering your teen’s schedule isn’t any reply. This lady continues to be driving her teen, and herself, beneath the impression.

I assume you presumably can presumably need thought-about attempting acquired obtained acquired obtained acquired obtained obtained bought an obligation to intervene. Keep it centered on what you seen. You is solely not going to have firsthand info of her earlier consuming, divorce or custody dispute. But you watched her teen get into her automotive every time you ponder she was drunk.

If you witness this conduct as shortly as further, say matter-of-factly: “You seem to have had too much to drink. I’ll drive you both home, and you can pick up your car tomorrow.” If she resists, inform her: “I won’t have your child’s safety on my conscience.” If she continues to refuse, it is doable it’s potential you presumably can presumably threaten to title the police, nonetheless let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.

You can nonetheless converse to her with regard to the sooner incident. (I hope it’s potential you presumably can presumably!) But hear to the exact episode, not her life challenges: She poses a hazard to her teen and to others if she drives beneath the impression. You ought to resolve to report your suspicions. But now, after the precise actuality and with out proof, it’s unlikely to accomplish a substantial amount of.

For of us battling remedy and alcohol, here are some resources (almost all of which are free.)

Credit…Christoph Niemann

I am on good terms with my neighbor. We exchanged nice texts over the holidays. Three days later, she texted again, asking me to confirm that we had conformed to our state’s quarantine rule for out-of-state visitors. I have no idea why she thought we hadn’t. (My daughter’s car has out-of-state license plates, but she’s been here for months.) I was offended by her text, so I ignored it. She texted the next day saying she assumed we hadn’t complied since I hadn’t responded. I texted back that I hadn’t replied because I thought she was out of line. We went back and forth like this until she said she was blocking my number. Is there a way to rehabilitate this relationship?

JIM

As Americans, we prize our personal freedoms: “It’s nobody’s business what I do in my home!” But for many, the pandemic has brought into clearer focus our obligations to each other. Isn’t it the abdication of responsibility to others that’s so galling about people ignoring safety recommendations?

Your neighbor may be nosy, judgmental or terribly frightened. (I have no way of knowing.) Rather than standing on principle, though, why not call and reassure her: “Of course we abided by safety protocols! Are you all right?” Hundreds of thousands of our neighbors have died. It would be totally normal if she’s not OK!

I spoke with my sister about a Hanukkah gift for my nephew, who is 14. I went with her recommendation. After Hanukkah passed, I never heard from him. When I asked my sister if he got my gift card, she told me she had rolled it into a larger gift from me and his toddler cousins that she planned to give him on Christmas. Shouldn’t I have been told about this in advance?

JASON

Who gives gifts from toddlers? Of course you should have been told. But here’s another thought: If you don’t know what your teenage nephew might like for Hanukkah, talk or text with him directly.

That way, you build your own relationship with him instead of using your sister as a go-between. This will make it more natural for him to thank you for your gifts and to talk with you generally. Win-win!

I work as an executive assistant at a prestigious management consulting firm. In October, one of my bosses was elected senior partner, for which he generously and unexpectedly gave me a cash gift of $1,000 to thank me for my hard work. Usually, he gives me a year-end gift of $2,000, but he didn’t this year. So, did he forget, or does he think the October gift was adequate? I am disappointed and rather bitter. May I say something?

ANONYMOUS

I wouldn’t. I bet 2020 was a weird year for holiday gifts and tips. And unlike your salary, your boss’s gifts are purely discretionary. If you’re dissatisfied with your pay, speak up. But we’re never entitled to gifts, even after we’ve gotten used to receiving them. Sorry!


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