Likewise, it’s unfair to lump all straight collectively, and disingenuous to recommend that they aren’t able to arguing in a wholesome manner.
But as a result of female and male same-sex every have totally different strengths that assist them endure, we will all study from them, Miller mentioned.
Here are some constructive strategies to deal with disagreements, as noticed by researchers of homosexual :
Use humor to defuse anger
Cracking a joke within the midst of a heated second can backfire, however when completed correctly, “it almost immediately releases the tension,” mentioned Robert Rave, 45, who lives along with his husband, David Forrest, in Los Angeles.
Rave cited a current automotive journey the place Forrest, 35, used humor to assist finish an escalating argument over whether or not they need to depend on Google Maps.
“For me, as a general rule, I self-admittedly will get very much in my head. And David will just simply take the piss out of it and make me laugh,” Rave mentioned.
A 2003 research in contrast 40 same-sex with 40 heterosexual over the course of 12 years to study what makes same-sex relationships succeed or fail. The findings prompt that same-sex tended to be extra optimistic when mentioning a disagreement and had been additionally extra more likely to stay optimistic after a disagreement when in comparison with heterosexual .
“Gay and lesbian couples were gentler in raising issues, far less defensive, and used more humor than heterosexual partners,” mentioned John M. Gottman, Ph.D., the lead writer of the research and co-founder of the Gottman Institute, a corporation that gives assets, like workshops and on-line programs, to assist strengthen relationships and presents skilled coaching to clinicians. “These were large differences.”